Did you miss me?

Well I'm back after a long and eventful holiday and after many weeks of not posting in my blog, I think it'd be necessary to post one now :]

Righto, I shall begin with the days before the 28th November, Friday, Hmm it was pretty ordinary living with myself, I'd be bored and alone most of the whole day and pretty much had packed my luggage a entire week before flying off!

28th November Friday, flew by and before I knew it I was on my way to the airport with matching outfit and luggage. Rather excited I was not able to get to a state of peace on the plane although it was a midnight flight departing Singapore at 11:30pm and due to arrive in the Brisbane at 8:50am. I would watch the first ten minutes of the movies and switch it to another. I was far too excited and suddenly I didn't realise but I fell asleep. Of course I didn't realise til I woke up but it felt like a black out :S Yeh not a good feeling.

The plane was about to land and usual turbulance and i felt stranger, I felt my head was about to pop, Never had that feeling before in all my times of travels and I sure as sugar don't want that feeling ever again. We landed safely though and I felt fine, went through customs and luggage collection smoothly and made my way to the clear screen automated doors out to my home land. Katie greeted me with her Dad, John, and her 7 year old brother Daniel. We still couldn't believe we were actually in front of each. She hasn't changed a bit, still was the gorgeous person she was before I left.

We were speechless for a moment but it wasn't for long as we started talking like old times again and I got to breathe fresh Aussie air again as we walked out. God it felt so good. So it's an hour's drive back to the Gold Coast and Katie lives in the Ormeau part and she told me she planned a surprise party for the night just for me. How sweet was that?! I could go straight in to party!

We arrived at the house around 9:45am and gosh even though I was so tired, I felt like Superman :P I greeted everyone Her mother, Jenny, and her older brother, Andrew, and Her other older brother I met the day after but I met her baby brother of 7 months Luke and he is so gorgeous. He has the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen. I gave them their pressies that they loved and settled in taking a shower and changing as Jodie and Midda (Jodie's boyfriend at the time) rocked up and caught up. It was so good to see them and well we decided to go for a walk to the shops, Coles which wasn't far from the park. When we got to the park and playground it started pouring with rain and there was only one gazibo and it wasn't long til the rain started to come in from all sides of the gazibo. Katie and I couldn't hack it and we were like yeh we're gonna sprint it to Coles. BAD IDEA. The rain pelted so hard on our backs as we ran, by the time we actually got to Coles it stopped raining! THANKS GOD! We looked like we just jumped into the pool with our clothes on and god it was so freezing walking into the airconditioning and having most people give you a smirk as they saw you walk by. It was the best though.

So we walked back and Jenny, Jodie and Midda had a good laugh and we got ready for the night but before that we went to Eagles Boys to pick up some pizza as Kirri rocked up. She hasn't changed a bit either, always the motherly one, such a beautiful girl. Midda drove us to Eagle Boys and oh my god it was the freaky-est drive of my life. Jodie was up front and Kate, Kirri and I sat in the back. He doesn't even use his indicator! & OMG we went around the freaking round-a-bout 4 times! Was crazy but fun as! So yeh we had pizza and got back got ready for the party and Darcy and he brought two mate of his Josh and Brochie (or something like that) At around 7pm. Josh was a bit of a hottie and Kate had her eye on him I just was catching up with mates and Kate me and Josh decided to go swimming.

It was freezing, Summer days as nice and warm with cool winds, but summer nights are cold as winter days. There major flirting going on so I left the two of em some privacy and Hope rocked up. Hope is one of the best, She's heaps of fun. Was so funny, we all knew Kate was gonna hook up with Josh so Jodie, Darcy, Hope, Kirri and Me sneaked up to them but Hope blew our cover when she tripped over a brick.

So yeah that was that and we all got back inside and chugged a whole bottle of pepsi then offed the lights and played spin the bottle. And when Josh spun it, it would land on me and i was sitting next to Katie and was like omg, but Katie was like nah it cool. (Was just a fling) Then yeh oh Midda! God he's a flirt and I found out so much bout him and well I've gotta post in the next post more on my other days but god the bottle landed on me when he spun it. So yeh as order goes he kisses me and he pulled back and leaned in again and was like "And another one?" I was like look out! And he did this when Jodie went to the toilet! Like OMG. So yeh then that was that and the boys went home and the girls stayed the night and we were chatting like old times and Jodie was telling me how there was a rumour going round that Jackson ex said that Midda and her hooked up and how Jodie felt so lost and didn't know what to do. Then we fell asleep at like 1:30am and OMG was so funny, We were sleeping in the pool room with the futtons on the floor and hope had one futton all to herself and Katie was lying beside me and Jodie was beside Katie and Kirri's head was like opposite from mine and I was like sleeping in a right angle with my body on the floor and my legs straight up against the couch. Was the funniest positions ever! So we woke up the next morning and I shall post more in the next blog, this one is getting far too long! Ciao!

Oh That was at the Singapore Airport Terminal 3, leaving to Oz. I Had no idea he was doing that.

Time can be a bitch

Oh god, I have been bored out of my brains waiting for the time to pass by because,,

I HAVE THE PLANE TICKET! IT'S BOOKED! I'VE SPOKEN AND SETTLED TO KATIE!

All I have to do now is pack and wait til the 28th :[ Of November.
What a drag! I'm feeling all the excitement now, I haven't slept since last Sunday!

The other day I called Katie just tell her the flight number and the arrival time but we ended up talking for an hour! I was alone at home but when the phone bill comes, I'm dead :S

I hope a month will go by fast, but my 2 week stay in Goldie will last forever :D
I just can't wait! And the bes thing is 2 whole weeks ALONE with my BESTEST ever mates. The Beach, Harbour town, Westifield, Surfers Paradise, DREAMWORLD
Who could ever ask for more?

Artwork by James Jirat Patradoon. Lovely Artist. Check him out.

ANOTHER RANDOM THING

UZBEKISTAN...
My Dad will be going there and living there for 2 months because he is going to be teaching there.

For 2 months! :[ I'm gonna miss him.
He's leaving on the 3rd of November and returning after the 22nd of December!
I would have gone and come back from Goldie and he still would be there!
But I'm happy for him!

Right now, I'm doing my fashion design,
Working tomorrow, So happy to get out of the house but I'm only working for 2 days
:P Have to get a new phone too!
I drowned my phone accidentally on the way to yoga the other day :[

Going phone shopping on Sunday,
I'll keep this updated :]
Til next time, Ciao!

Head Over Heels in Happiness..

I have been exactly that for about 2 and 1/2 weeks now. And well, I have 10 glorious reasons to be! Shall I state them all? Righto;

1. 8 days til exams! And well I'm so prepared and excited, not nervous at all, looking forward to it.
2. 12 days til end of school! I will no longer be in Ftpss!
3. 11 days til my sweet 16th. A wonderful age. I'm going to a Malaysian Waterfall on the Saturday to celebrate.
4. 10 days til Hari Raya, a splendid time, I'm wearing Green this year :].
5. Looking forward to my first ever job! I plan to work full time at Forever 21, my favourite brand and well, FREE CLOTHES :P What more could a girl want? Not quite interested in money, I just want the experience..
6. Looking forward to....VISITING KATIE AT THE END OF THE YEAR!!!! Omg I'm so happy about that. 1 whole week by myself in my home country with my besties! Who could ask for more?
7. I'm so excited to go to MDIS next year! No uniform! New friends!
8. Hanging out with my mates on the holidays! Catching up and making new memories hehe
9.I love my room now, I did super cleaning, giving away almost all my stuff to Salvation Army, and only keeping the stuff I need for next year and this year. Makes it easier to move in 2010.
10. I LOVE MY LIFE :] and I can't wait for New Year's!

Hehe, Its great being this happy. I haven't been this happy since living in Australia and it's great to feel that same feeling again. And no one or nothing can upset me. I love it!

Mickey and myself in Melbourne last year. I love this picture because of the wonderful colours :P

Understanding..

I haven't written in here for a while and I guess its about time to...

Things have been pretty steady and cruising smoothly. I know I have done my study and I'm ready (not sounding over confident) for exams.
I have a greater understanding on some issues now and I'm happy that I found it out for myself.

For one, I am no longer crushing on some guy. Hehe its playful and there's nothing wrong in that, I just no longer feel like I need to like someone. If god wants to send someone for me, then that's his wish, but he isn't sending currently so.. I'm not falling for anyone right now. And I'm happy that way.

My goals in future are clearer and more precise, and I'm so excited to go to MDIS next year and to have my first ever job during the 3 month holiday and to visit Katie during Christmas.

When you have so many things to be happy about, why think of the sad? Wouldn't everyone be happier if they thought about the things they have and be grateful instead of being upset over something they don't have.
If any of this is being hypocritical of myself (Which I strongly doubt) then I apologise. I have changed myself for what I believe is the better.

Sometimes people do feel sad, its inevitable, and its always easier to let the bad memories and thoughts take over your mind, But if you can help yourself change one or forget one bad moment each day, you'd be a much better person to yourself and others.

My faith and belief in God has strengthened during the past 2 weeks and I didn't realise. I have always been grateful for whatever I have but sometimes I do neglect and reflecting back now, it was foolish but hey, Humans were made to make mistakes so we can learn from them, Life after all is a learning journey and the challenges you face along the way are opportunities for you to apply your knowledge. If you are wrong or you fall, everybody falls, its your choice whether you want to get back up and try again with a different method or to just lie there.

I watched a movie today, 'A Walk to Remember' starring Shane West and Mandy Moore. Its an incredible movie that teaches you above true love, and having total faith and understanding in the Lord. There are also songs that Mandy Moore sang for and during the movie which are just beautiful, like 'Only Hope' and 'Cry'. And there is one quote in the movie that I love and I'll end this post with that;

Love is always patient and kind, and is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and it is not resentful.

Bummed

I can't even bear to look at myself anymore. I'm a failure. No question about it and I hate it when people compare my results with their own. Okay, I know I did better than some but still, I have a very different way of looking at marks etc, because I know I have a much higher expectation for myself and my parents have the same on me as well... I just failed my maths by 7%... Feels like 7000%... I don't understand. I worked so hard and I tried my best, It's just not enough.... I just can't get myself out of the thought, Should I give up?


It was Elyas' birthday on Sunday the 17th and it was Mum's on Tuesday the 19th and here are some pictures we took when we went out on Sunday to celebrate...

Perhaps, Too Happy to express...

I can honestly say, I am happy beyond any descriptive words could ever express :] and I have no idea why. Isn't that the strangest ever, I have exams and what not but I am just so happy.
However class today was so boring I fell asleep and well I've finished my art, just need to stick down the pictures on one measly prep board but Hah! No a problem at all mate!

I'm ecstatic, still, about visiting Katie during Christmas or perhaps earlier. I can't stop thinking about and about MDIS. I'm rather excited for that too despite leaving some of my friends behind but I can always keep in contact. I'm quite used to it now.

On a different note...
Have you ever wondered how friendship works? It's rather extraordinary but a beautiful friendship is always unique. That's what makes it beautiful.

First you meet a stranger, and begin small talk.
Small talk tends to ease itself to serious talk or personal talk, then you and the strange tend to relate on personal agendas.
You are then amazed that the both of you have something or sometimes more things in common with each other than ever and begin to feel excited.
Then one of you has to leave. And the whole time you have seen each other, you'd been judging each other mentally until you do see each other again.
Eventually the both of you meet again and begin to hang out with each other more until it becomes like a natural instinct to hang out with each.
THEN COMES THE FIRST FIGHT...over some boy/girl, pen/pencil, behaviour/ gossip/ secret...
It's bound to happen.
Then we the both of you talk it out and about 2 days later, You wouldn't believe the both of you were fighting over something so small. The friendship grows stronger and stronger by each passing fight and moment together until you're no longer friends with each other, more like a family so much so that you can be no one else but yourself to each other.


But what I don't understand about the Asian society is that most of the time, the strangers won't approach you.. Instead you have to approach them...

WHY NOT TAKE THE CHANCE WHILE YOU HAVE ONE?Go my photography :P

Dr Love helped me smile :]

I'm feeling much better now after that little breakdown I had the other day. I feel happier and somewhat relaxed. I know I can make it for my exams and other things that are happening right now and I'm just about finished my Art coursework.

I'm ready for the exams and I can't wait 'til I see Katie again. She texted me the other day. Hehe She was reading our old 'letters without stamps' (Sorta like passing notes in class :P Since our A'hole of a Maths teacher Mr Lynch banded us from speaking :[ How could a girl survive?) and She cried. Awwww. What a darl.. :] So coincidentally the day before I was looking through our old photos.



Oh my, we are both feeling so nostalgic. :P

&&&& Sigh I'm truly taken by him. Not so much so that I know I would get hurt, bbbbuuutttt..... I really like him :[ sigh. Despite what people say, to me, he looks like a darl. :]

Hehe I wrote a song a few weeks ago and its perfect. Its a fun-loving song for like clubs ya know :] I don't write sad songs :P Not my style..

Anyways here it goes...
It's called Speechless...

I never know what to say when I cross your path
'Cause every time I see those eyes, You make me oh so shy
I wanna spill it out, But I wouldn't know what to say
I wanna shout it out, But I wouldn't know how

'Cause you've got me so speechless now..
That's right, You've got me tongue tied and twisted,
You've got me spinning in my mind.
You've got dizzy and clumsy,
When I see you smile.
You've got me so speechless now,
Yeah, You've got me so speechless now.

It's funny how you make me smile on rainy days,
The simple thought of you turns me upside down,
I wanna spill it out, But I wouldn't know what to say,
I wanna shout it out, right now....

'Cause you've got me so speechless now...
I'm tongued tied and twisted,
I'm spinning in my mind,
I'm dizzy and clumsy,
When I see that smile.
You've got me so Speechless now :]

Still working on the bridge
Sighh. I'm a happy chappy. :]

I'm concerned. Stressed. Overworked. In Love. Anxious. Homesick.

I'm sure we all have experienced these emotions before, but we feel and react differently towards them being the different people we are and due to the different reasons we have.

I'm concerned; My art will not be good enough to get an 'A' for my 'N' levels. I can take constructive criticisms but the amount given by teacher A is overwhelming. I'm sorry, I'm not perfect.

I'm the type who tries to please everybody and neglect how I feel. I let people walk all over me and I'm not proud to say it. At first, I don't always make the right choices so I learn the hard way and being the humans we are, I can't take the advice, I give out to others and apply it to my own problems.

Stressed and Overworked to the breaking point. I have too much going on right now and I have tolerated the stress for a long, long time but nothing lasts forever. I just hope I can make through in the end.

Yes, I am in love despite what people say and I want to spill out but I can't. I noticed that in the last few posts, I talk about love, but the fact is, I'm not dependent on it neither am I a sole believer. I talk about love because it's my one escape. A secret for myself.

I am Anxious for the upcoming exams. I want those marks to get me home and to see my sisters from other misters. I miss them so much and not a day goes by that I don't miss my true home and family. Although we may be of different looks and different skin, we are still sisters through and through.

I am Homesick.

I miss the Winter, Summer and Spring.
I miss the beach and hanging out with my mates.
I miss HSHS and how natural the scenery looked.
I miss seeing the lake and seeing our own breath on winter mornings.
I miss the smell of dew on the grass.
I miss having NOT a worry in the world.
I miss goofing off and doing what I want.
I miss the hugs we'd give every morning to each other.
I miss my land.

So much has changed now, Will it all still be there when I come back?

Just A lil' Lovey Dovey ;]

Besides the stress of upcoming exams, coursework, my busy home life and the lethargy, Today was pretty awesome :] I liked today.
Haha, the previous night, I had kickboxing and hot yoga (That is yoga in a 37 degrees celcius room) after school and I came home at about 10pm.
THE COURSEWORK DEADLINE IS THE END OF THIS WEEK. So I'm stressing my arse off, staying up til 2:45AM doing prep. I had to wake up at 5AM by the way >:[

So I was 75% asleep in the morning of school but as PE came around the corner, my fellow energetic friend, Jac, boosted my energy half way to heaven and I remained that way til I slept soundly in English :]

<2007 Melbourne Art trip. I have a huge smile :]

So Yeah I decided I like Guy C :] and well even though I've heard some bad stuff about him, I'm not really disheartened. Shouldn't listen to other's judgments blindly. He had PE today the same time as me and perhaps I may be dreaming but was he staring at lil' ol' me? ;P But then again, I MUST BE DREAMING :'[

Sigh, I'm not looking for a relationship and not so head over heels for someone, I'm content and well to me, thats wonderful :]

A Day out....

Friday I crashed forehead against forehead with Mickey. Quite hilarious actually, We were playing Dodge Ball for PE and well.. Mickey and I were facing each other. We ran straight into each others forehead and immediately a lump the size of half a ping pong ball formed centre of my forehead. Nothing happened to Mickey though. Thank god.

I couldn't stop laughing about it even though it hurt like hell, and people called me crazy because of that. It swelled pretty badly, but my friends, Jolyn, Jac, Winnie and little brothers Marcus and Nicky and little sister Eli, all took good care of me.

A day after rubbing medicinal oil and ointment, the swelling spread down to the bridge of my eyebrows, and turned my eye bags blue-black. No make-up could hide it.
But I don't care. Still hurts like hell though :S


So it was a day out and I needed it, stress relief and a great friend to spend it with. Winnie. It was her 18th birthday on Saturday and I gave her present today.
I was looking forward to this day for ages, and well it takes a bad morning to ruin it all.

Don't get me wrong now, I had a ball with Winnie, She's loads of fun but a certain someone made me so upset before I left the house.

Winnie cheered me up and we went to the movie, Batman the Dark Knight, In memory of the late Heath Ledger.
We booked the ticket and the seats for the 2:15pm show and the Transvestite of a sales 'shemale' gave us the wrong timing >:[ 12:15 but Winnie and I didn't realise until the end of the movie. WE MISSED OUT ON LIKE HALF THE MOVIE! THANK YOU SHEMALE

But we still had a great time, Went to Swensens, took some piccies went shopping.

A neoprint
<<

All was great till we took a rest at Starbucks. I recieved a phone call from a certain someone demanding my return home even though I said I'd be Home at 8:30pm
I couldn't the stress. I just wanted one day away from meetings, studies, school family, and I wasn't allowed.
Is that so selfish of me?

Sigh, tomorrow is another day..

O-M-G....

Well June holidays has come and gone...I was so busy during that month it was crazy and I couldn't keep up with this blog. I don't need to elaborate much on the holidays because nothing quite interesting there. But once school started, so did several other dramas.


Well it wouldn't be nice to air one's dirty linen out but I can surely say that July has not been as pleasant as it could have been. Yes I was upset but a few good friends helped me through.


Sigh now I have Love issues. Actually I wouldn't call them Love It's more like a crush but not sure who I'm crushing on.

So the story goes;

I used to like this guy (A) earlier this year and well, He is a hottie. =] But I don't personally know him. A friend of mine and myself noticed that he would look straight at me for a long period of time then look away, However, I thought that I was being delusional and after a while I gave up on liking him. I was furthermore turned off liking him when I saw a former friend flirt with him practically right in front of me even though she knew I liked him before.


Recently there was guy (B). He is a friend of mine and a shy one at that. I never quite knew why but I always found him to be a nice guy and he is, and so I got to know him a little better and well, He is such a nice guy, I thought I had a crush. But the littlest ever. Before my feelings grew, I found out her had a girlfriend and well I never told him anything and being a good friend, I gracefully bowed out. =P


Most recent is guy (C). I was playing soccer the other day for P.E. with some classmates and few others from other class joined in. I had a ball and well (C) was playing in the game, and He was very active which is very active in a man, and well I just saw him as a person that day. Now I notice he looks at me more than occasionally and well I've even caught him a few times trying to smile at me but I wouldn't do anything back. I'm too afraid that I may delusional again or I might embarrass myself.

Then well I started to get mixed feeling for (A) and (C). Feelings for (A) sorta came back slightly when a friend of mine told me some information which shall be disclosed .


GRRR. I just don't know. I don't want to like anyone but they are stuck in my head =/
Help?

Yay!!!!!

Exams are Overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! Celebrate!!! Partyy!! Sushi!!!!!! Hahaha Tomorrow Winnie and I are going to a sushi buffet to celebrate. Initially, Cherry, Syafiqa, Mickey and Jolyn were supposed to join us but they had their own problems so its okay, Winnie and I are going, I need the stress relief!

The exams went better than I expected and I'm quite happy with how I did. Oh, Why should I talk about exams! It's time to forget and enjoy for a while!!!

On Saturday I'm meeting Mingyi, Oh and I miss her so much!!! I'm so excited to see her again and we're going to watch 'Over her dead body'. Sounds alright =)

Ohhhh I feel so relaxed right now, with a cup of Earl Grey tea and the Air conditioning, It's perfect...For now hehe...

You have to watch this video by Declan GallBraith when he was younger. He's a singer with such a powerful voice at such a young age. I'm guessing that he's about my age now as you'll see from the second video. His songs are to die for! Absolutely breathtaking.

Tell Me Why- Declan GallBraith Age 10


Aint he a cutie!!

Ego you- Last year.
OMG Stunning and his voice, looks, .... MY FUTURE HUSBAND!!

Long weekend

Well it's considered a long weekend for me though, because Monday I have no paper to attend because it's the mother tongue paper. So yeah relaxing is good

Yesterday I burned my hand. I was going to fry a fish to eat with my pasta, so I heated up the stove and the oil was in the pan. I think I left it on for too long that's why when I went to put the fish in, the hot oil splatter and landed on my hand! from the knuckle of my thumb to my wrist. It hurt like a bitch! I iced it for several hours and I could still feel the burn. But thank god it was okay before the engagement party.

Anyways it was my cousin Aini's engagement party yesterday. Actually I don't know many of my relatives that's why it felt a little awkward for me. Especially when we were walking down the stretch of men that lined up outside the house! I felt so awkward because they were all staring at me. I don't know whether it was good or bad but I was definitely intimidated! We had dinner there and I conversed with a few of my cousins that I was close with. Sigh, but there's one of my cousins which I'd like to get to know him because he seems nice, but he intimidates me.

Most of my cousins are older than me. I'm most likely the youngest out of all of them. And there are A LOT of them...

The engagement party was quite alright but it was definitely different from the ones in Australia. Over there, there'd be plenty of games and jokes, but here it's rather formal with having photography and formal meetings with people.

Overall it's exposure to different cultures and it's a good way to learn something new.

Labour Day

Whooooo! Labour Day, So its a day at home and rest. Just the break I needed from studying But tomorrow I have that Social studies and Maths exams I mentioned earlier :(

(Ashley, Me and Jodie D)

It's so important for me to study right now because my bestie Katie in Australia invited over to live with her for a holiday last year, but I couldn't go because I went to Melbourne for an Art course. My parents said maybe next year (2008) they'll let me go.





The subject came up again the other day when I was talking to Katie on msn, and I ask Dad and he said I can only go if I get all As for the N levels I'm sitting for this year. Nothing is impossible so I'm trying but I really really want to go. I miss them all so much. I think I would cry if I didn't get the marks I wanted.
(Katie and Kirralee>)




Anyways, my brother came home today since it's a public holiday so everyone is at home but he has to go back tonight. He's a sergeant for BMT (Basic Military Training) in Tokong. He trains the recruits of the army. But he finishes his service next year in June. I miss him everyday when I don't see him because he's my only brother and I love him a lot. You have to cherish the time you have with your loved ones because you'll never know when they'll leave you. It's another reason why I really want to visit my mates. I miss them so much.

(^ My brother Elyas and Me after his pass out parade as a sergeant)

Oohh....1st ever

Oohh...Well this is my first ever post in my first ever blog and it is exciting! hehe
Well, I've always been interested in creating one, but I never actually got around to doing it and I guess if you want something you should pursue it, and fail or triumph, at least you tried and had a go, Because the greatest failure in life is not participating.

Anyways, This is a online diary of my life and the thoughts and ideas that are always built up in my mind. Its good to take them down and keep track. Feel free to comment or message on my blog.

Hmm... So Should I begin with my day?...
Well currently, I doing my Mid year examinations and yes I have to study hard. It is stressful but its for my own benefit.
Today's paper was Art, 3 hours of constant concentration with a hint of panic.. Heh but I didn't quite like my exam painting, I felt like something was missing,
But I hate my Art teacher anyways.
Its a drag to do art in that class of hers, and I love art which makes the feeling somewhat irritating for me!

But eh, I'm feeling relaxed now since the paper is over but on Friday I have Social Studies and Maths! Stress!